There’s a learning curve on how to bide one’s time on a disabled list. Rich Hill, thanks to his curveball, is accelerating in this practice at a blistering pace.
Strange, but can anyone put their finger on what exactly is causing this 37-year-old problems continually relying on a high-spin-rate pitch?
When big-league pitchers of a certain age are trying to save their careers, isn’t this where a knuckleball is suggested, not something that will require extra torque and twist – and that’s just Hill trying to stick the landing after he delivers it.
The Dodgers, who remarkably don’t have Dr. Scholl on their payroll or a large tube of Blistex in their medicine cabinent, are apparently asking for any and all remedies.
“I’d love to give him my middle finger,” manager Dave Roberts has said. “There’s a lot of miles left on it.”
Interpret that any way you like.
== Fact or friction: Blister cures do exist, eh?
Vin Scully’s wife, Sandi, once recommended directly to Hill a vinegar-and-water cocktail that, after applying it to the wound, you then drank it. Apparently, vinegar has been Vin’s secret ingredient to vim and vigor lifestyle.
Soak the finger in pickle juice (Nolan Ryan’s method). Stuff it in a bag of rice, like a wet cell phone. Urinate on it, like it’s a jellyfish sting. Smile big and wrap it in peppermint toothpaste. Spray antiperspirant on it – it’s the aluminum chlorohydrate that’ll toughen the skin.
There’s that spot in South Jersey off the Delaware River where they still mine that special baseball rubbing mud. Ever mix that in with chocolate Jell-O and liberally apply it to the wound?
Last resort: Super Glue everything together. If it’s made in America, it’s not a foreign substance, correct?
== Ever hear of “Stan’s Rodeo Ointment”?
A long time ago, in an ownership far, far removed, the Dodgers had a head trainer named Stan Johnson, a former rodeo cowboy from Montana who used to develop ways to treat his own broken bones and other ailments that were just occupational hazards of the job.
He boiled together Polymyxin B sulfate, Bacitracin zinc, hydrocortisone and povidone-iodine and used it with the team as a blister treatment that was so popular, opposing teams that would beg him for a vial. It had the vile smell of rotten figs and looked like congealed motor oil. Josh Beckett and Derek Lowe, pre-Dodgers days, would swear by it.
Johnson, in the Dodgers’ organization for 23 years, was picked by the MLB as the official trainer for the 2006 All Star Game in Pittsburgh. Just a year later, the Frank McCourt team strategically dropped him.
Where have you gone, Stan the blister man?
The stuff used to be stirred up at a company in Torrance, but we found an online pharmacy in Lomita that appears to still fill his miracle treatment, noting that it’s been “entrusted” by UCLA and the U.S. Olympic Committee, as well as the Rams, Clippers, Kings, Cubs, Reds, Mets, Twins, Astros, Nationals,…